The Gorkian Revolution

I can’t say precisely why, but somehow I felt, down in my guts, that my husband had been abducted by aliens. Where they were from and where they took him, I really didn’t know by then. The fact is: he was missing for about one night, claiming to be hanging out with some friends. When returned, he wasn’t the same. Ok, physically, maybe still the same. The same face, the same long and pointed nose, the same proheminent belly. But there was something weird about the way he began to act.

Now, let me get this straight. I’ve never been taken to the space on a tour by creatures from another planet, so I can’t say what Oscar - my husband - could’ve learned from his travel with the martians (or gorkians, as I would learn later). However, he was a different person. And that’s not open for discussions.

How do I know that? Ok, first things first. Oscar wasn’t a role model of a husband, I admit that. He wasn’t the kind of guy who used to bring roses to the wife or declare poems on a warm night under the shining moon. Yes, I know that there isn’t a single husband in the entire world who does such things, but I’m just saying it to ilustrate that Oscar was a normal man when concerning me. Not the symbol of romance, but at least a husband that was there when I needed.

Plus, Oscar was a nerd. Yes, a geek. Big, thick eyeglasses, not much hair on the top of his head and, as I said, the belly of a six month pregnant girl. After this description, you can pretty much guess that he didn’t use to flert with a lot of woman or to do crazy stuff in his life. Basically, his life was work, home and, ocasionally, some drinks with his friends.

And was one of those rare nights with his friends that changed him. Suddenly, with no apparent reason, he started to live life at its full. Oscar wanted to do everything he could, as if his time on this planet was running short. He bought a red bicycle to use every morning, tried unusual meals - like octopus and vegetables - and began to ask questions about everything, like a little child.

- What does this thing do? – he asked, pointing his finger at a television.

One one night, I woke up without him by my side. Oscar used to sleep more than ten hours a day when he was a person, so I knew that something was not right. I started to look for him in the house, when I heard something weird. Slowly, I went towards the source of the sound. It was coming from the bathroom downstairs.

I put my ear on the door to better listen and noticed that was Oscar’s voice speaking in a language I couldn’t understand. I knocked.

- Oscar, are you OK in there?

He spoke a few more words in the alien’s language and opened the door.

- Yes, honey, what’s wrong?

- Who were you talking to, Oscar?

- Nobody. I was just pushing real hard. Number two sometimes requires an extra effort.

- Ok.

He was lying, but what could I do? I knew it would got worst, and it did. First, he started to make new friends, and, as you probably know by now, that kind of action wasn’t in his personality. Then Oscar began to get together with this friends almost everyday. I got a little scared. What would you do if the martians were taking the planet and your husband was their leader?

I had to support him. Of course. To make it short, I am know the first-lady of the entire planet. The once nerd Oscar is know the leader of the Gorkian Republic on Earth. Being brazilian, I had to learn english – according to Oscar, the universal language – and became the official writer of the gorkian revolution on our planet.

I admit it’s nice to have the entire world at your service. But sometimes I just wanto to go home. Or even make something different. Like going to Gorky to meet my in-laws.